New Layout

OK, I finally figured out how to change my blog template and took the time to actually do it today on my lunch break! :-) Not sure I love this one, but it will work for now. You will probably see me change it again soon now that I know how to.

Seems like it's been forever since I blogged. Not a whole lot has happened since then in. August is an extremely busy month for me at work. It's always our busiest month. Kyle has been wrapping up the summer stuff at church. We have the Back to School Bash this Friday and then back to a somewhat normal schedule around (if our hectic schedule can ever be considered normal)!

Bella gets to start Cubbies at church tomorrow night. She's excited about it. I'll try to post some pictures.

Thankfully our friends Lacey and Phillip welcomed a precious baby girl, Hallie Grace, into their family last Tuesday (after a very long day of labor for Lacey). Bella was so excited that Hallie was finally here. I took her to see Hallie on Saturday and she was so excited to get to hold her and help feed her a bottle. Kyle had our camera, so we took pictures on Aunt Kristi's camera. As soon as I get them from her I'll post them. I'm amazed that Hallie is so small (6 lbs.) and can't believe Bella weighed a third of that when she was born. I really can't remember it. Bella wasn't even close to Hallie's size when I brought her home. Once again, I'm reminded of God's faithfulness.

The picture below is of Bella with Junction Jack. We went to the ballgame a few weeks ago and she saw Junction Jack on the concourse. He gave her a baseball, which was the highlight of her night by far!

I'll leave you with a funny story. This evening Bella and I were taking a bath and she threw a glass of water on me. I quickly told her "Don't do that Bella" to which she replied "I'm sorry Mommy!" I don't think she really gets the concept of being sorry, so I asked her "Are you really sorry or did you just say that so you wouldn't get in trouble?" Well at least she's honest because she looked me right in the eye and as sweet and to the point as she could she said "I just said it so I wouldn't get in trouble!"

The simple faith of a child

God used Bella this afternoon to remind me of his faithfulness and sovereignty. Kyle took the youth guys camping for their "Dude Trip" after church today, so it's just me and Bella for a few days. As we were watching the Astros game this afternoon and Bella was getting ready for her nap, she said she wanted to say her "night-night prayers." She's been praying for our friend Lacey who is pregnant and due next month. She was put on bedrest a few weeks ago so we've been praying every night for God to help Lacey feel better and for Hallie (her baby) to be safe and healthy. Bella asked me to pray first so I prayed and asking God just that, for Lacey to feel better and for Hallie to continue to be healthy and grow the way she should. After I prayed Bella just floored me when she simply prayed "Thank you God for Lacey and Hallie and for making Ms. Lacey feel better and for keeping them safe." I'm sure in her mind, she was saying the same thing I did, but the blind faith in that simple statement really hit me.

We so often ask God for things and tell Him how we want things to be. If we are honest with ourselves most of our prayers are asking and telling God how we think things should be. How many times do we thank God for something, believing that He will do it? We thank Him after the fact when things turn out the way we want them to, that's the easy part. I know I'm guilty so many times of praying, even begging God for things/circumstances to change/healing, but in the back of my mind doubting He's really going to answer. I need to go back to that faith of the little child, praying to God, thanking Him for something that hasn't yet come, believing He's going to be faithful to work everything together for good.

I've been reminded this week again of the fragility of life and how it just seems sometimes that God's timing and plans don't make sense in our finite, sinful existence. Bella's prayer this afternoon was a small reminder that He is in control and we can have faith in His strength and His ability to faithfully work all things together for His good, even when we don't always understand. Some things we'll never understand this side of heaven, but God in His infinite wisdom and sovereignty does and he brings forth beauty from ashes, good from the situations in life that seem hopeless and unbearable.

I should also note that after Bella prayed for Lacey and Hallie she said "Thank you God for Puma and for making him better so he can play for the Astros again!" That's my girl! :-)

I'll leave you with Mark 10: 13-16 in the Message.

The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: "Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.

More Disney Pictures

Bella on the safari (or "bafari" as she would say) at Animal Kingdom. This was one of the coolest things that we did at Disney. Bella and I actually did this twice, once with the whole group and once by ourselves while everyone else rode Everest. There is something amazing about seeing the animals so close you can touch them and knowing there isn't a barrier like at the zoo. Bella kept telling me how beautiful God made all the animals, even the rhinos (which I would never have described as beautiful). It was rather amazing, even for me, I can only imagine what was going through her head. Of course, she's too young to understand the fact that you shouldn't be able to be so close to a giraffe that you can touch it, particularly when you are in FLORIDA! :-)

Aunt Kristi and Aunt Janell took Bella to see the "Circus" AKA Cirque de Soleil. She loved it.

On Wednesday we went to the Peabody Orlando to see the March of the Ducks. If you are ever near a Peabody Hotel you should check it out. It really is too cute. The music starts in the morning and they march right off the elevator and dive into the fountain. At the end of the day they march back out and up to their house. I stayed at the Peabody on business in October and knew I had to bring Bella back when we came back to Orlando. The kids loved it. This is a picture of Bella with her "Peabody" that I bought her when I was there in October.

Bella riding on the train in the Magic Kingdom.

Bella crashed this day while waiting in line for It's a Small World. I'll never see this picture without remembering that I actually took the camera out to try and take a picture of Rev Run and his family, who were getting on the ride. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the camera out fast enough to catch them before the ride took off. Oh well, I did get this really cute picture of Bella and Kyle.

Disney World

Ok, I know it's been way too long since I posted a blog. I've been extremely busy getting ready for vacation. Since I posted last, we've been to youth camp, celebrated Isabella's birthday and been to Disney World. Bella absolutely loved Disney.

The first morning we had breakfast with Leo and June from the Little Einsteins and also JoJo and Goliath. This was Bella's first taste of Disney World and she had a blast. She got to meet all the characters and dance with them. It was a blast and definately a great way to start off our trip.

Here's a picture of Bella with June.

In the Magic Kingdom, Bella was in complete awe of Cinderella's Castle and all the rides. She loved Goofy's Barnstormer (the "roller coaster"), the teacups, Dumbo and the Carousel. She also got to meet several of the princesses which of course was right up her alley. It was too cute when she told Belle "You have the same name as me!"

Here we are our first day in the Magic Kingdom

I'm having serious issues getting the pictures to work in this post...I'm going to post a second blog entry with more pictures.

ER Visit

So we made a trip to the ER on Friday night. About 9:30 I decided I wanted to take a bath so I could be finished in time to watch Jay Leno on his last show...on a side note, I refuse to watch Conan or Dave so I guess we'll either be going to bed earlier or watching a lot more Sports Center. So back to my story, Bella was laying on the floor in our room with Ti watching Madagascar, so I told her to stay right there while I went downstairs to get Kyle so he could watch her while I got my bath. I wasn't even to the top of the stairs when I heard her crash. She decided as soon as I walked out of the room to jump on the bed and went head first into the headboard. She got a fairly small cut, but it was gaping open pretty wide, so we called Aunt Kristi to come look at it. We decided that since it was on her face, we needed to take her to the ER for stitches so she hopefully wouldn't scar too badly. We talked to her pediatrician and they advised us to go to Texas Children's, so we packed a bag and headed to Houston. Aunt Kristi went with us, which was a decision she probably regretted later! We got to the ER about 11:00, signed in and saw the triage nurse within 5 or 10 minutes. He immediately looked at her cut and said they would be able to glue it and wouldn't need to stitch it. We asked how long the wait was at that point and he said he wasn't sure, but that it looked like 2 1/2 to 3 hours which didn't sound too incredibly long considering all the people we saw waiting. Well that was a LIE!!!!! 10 hours later we finally saw the doctor and big surprise, the cut had already scabbed over and started closing up so there was nothing that they could do. That is definitely making a long story very short. We repeatedly asked about just this problem (that the wound seemed to be closing up and wasn't going to able to be stitched or glued) as well as asked at one point if we could just have the co-pay back so that we could go to another hospital (which of course we couldn't because we had seen the triage nurse and they would "probably" bill for that, but there was no way to know for sure). Needless to say Texas Children's isn't high on my list of favorite places right now! I'm going to try and get in touch with a patient advocate tomorrow, so I'll keep you posted.

Astros Game

We went to the Astros game on Saturday with Kristi, Shahla and David. Bella was so excited. She told me Friday night when we were talking about the game that she was going to see her "friends" the Astros. When I asked her who was her friend on the Astros she told me "Jumpin' Jacks" (AKA Junction Jack) and "Pudge" and "Hunter Pence"! Then Saturday morning when she woke up she said "Mommy today I'm going to go see my friends Jumpin' Jacks, Pudge and Hunter Pence." She was cheering and singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" from the minute we got to our seat. She had so much fun. Lucky for her, she's oblivious to the fact that the Astros are on a loooooong losing streak right now. She just loves to go to the games and cheer for her friends. She's starting to pick up more and more about the game and the players. She heard the announcers talking about Bronson Arroyo on the radio tonight and said "Mommy Roy O is trying to get him out" then she told me "and Hunter Pence got a hit...he hit a home run!" If only that were the truth! :-) I've posted some pictures below.

You can't really see in the picture, but her shirt says "Hey Batter Batter Swing". Bella is so excited that Aunt Kristi bought this shirt and bow for her and also bought one for Phillip and Lacey's baby. When she put it on Saturday morning Bella asked me when Ms. Lacey's baby was going to be here so she could hold her and take her picture.

Rally cap!

Doing the wave with Shahla!

CHARGE!!!!!!!

Go Hunter Pence!

What Ifs

I usually just blog about Bella and what's going on with her, but tonight I wanted to share what God's been really working on in me lately. I recently read a book by Jeanne Damoff, Parting the Waters. Mrs. Damoff's husband was one of our professors at ETBU and the book details their family's journey after their 15 year old son's near drowning about 12 years ago. They had been told there was no chance he would recover, but God worked a miracle in Jacob's life and he has made amazing progress. I would recommend the book to everyone. It really reminds you of God's faithfulness, not to give us what we "want" but exactly what we need for the situations we are in. I read the entire book, amazed as I read at the story of God's continual faithfulness to work through a situation that on the outside looked absolutely hopeless. Near the end of the book, maybe it was even in the appendix, Mrs. Damoff was talking about her younger son and said she sometimes wondered if Jacob's personality would be similar to that of his brother if he had not had the accident. Then she made a statement that hit me like a ton of bricks, it was as if God had but the statement in the book just for me, she said there are no "what ifs". God knew before the beginning of time what would happen to each of us each and every day of our life. That's such an overwhelming thought to me. It's something I've always known, not really a new concept, but in the moment I read those words on the page it was like God was reminding me that He's in control of everything.

I've struggled since my miscarriage with "what ifs". I was prepared for problems late in my pregnancy, I just assumed that I would have another easy first trimester, like I did with Bella. When I was pregnant with Bella I was so scared of miscarrying but with my second pregnancy, I didn't much think of that. After one NICU baby, you just automatically think that's where you are headed again. I knew that God could carry me through that. He did it with Bella and I had complete faith He would do it again. I was in such shock right after the miscarriage that I just felt like I needed to move on and go on with life, even though I didn't really know how to do that. After the first week or two of initial grief, that worked somewhat for those first few months (not that I didn't have my moments...just ask Kyle), but then as I got closer to what would have been my due date, particularly once I hit what would have been my 31st week (which is when I had Bella) I just couldn't shake the thoughts that I shouldn't be doing this or that because I should have my baby, or be on bed rest, or driving back and forth to the hospital every day, etc. We would be somewhere, at church, out to eat, or doing something with Bella and it would just hit me. God was dealing with me then but I couldn't really put words to it, I'm not sure I was really there yet. During that time God was using little things to remind me that He is in control. He continually reminded me that He always knew exactly what would happen and that it hadn't surprised Him. I was reminded time and time again, in little things that our days have been numbered since the beginning of time. God has always known how many days each of us would be here on earth. There's nothing we can do to change that. There are no "what ifs" with God. It's just exactly as He knew it would be.

This is definitely not to say I don't struggle with this. I will be the first to admit that this weekend was hard for me as I sat with Bella at Kyle's graduation and then had Mother's Day on Sunday. I just had this feeling like something was missing. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever not feel that way. It's something God is continually working on in me. I know I've shared Mary Beth Chapman's blog on here before. I've been continually encouraged by her honest sharing of the struggles she has had since the death of her daughter last May. Here's the link to her blog: http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/marybeth/. Check it out if you haven't before.

Bella is rebelling against the video camera right now. She refuses to let me make a video of her. I'll try to catch her soon and post a new video.